The title of this blog post is a little weird, and not what I originally had planned. I usually spend Wednesday nights relaxing while Jesse is gone and type out my post to go up for today, but last night was filled with almost 6 hours of editing after teaching 8 hours and I was not in the mood to look at a computer screen any longer to write. So, I titled this sleepy marriage thoughts because it is pertaining to married couples, and I’m also super tired. I’m dreaming about the pot of coffee I’m going to inhale when I get home. Anyways, I want to get to the actual point of this post…

I’m sure everyone reading this knows that I’m married and have been for about a year and eight months (so crazy to think about). One thing I’m so thankful Jesse and I had before we got married was solid pre-marital counseling from our college pastor. We discussed so many things during our different sessions leading up to when we were married and although it was difficult at times, it was so good. The main thing that stuck out to me then and I’m still seeing now, is how much your upbringing can affect the type of wife or husband you are in marriage. Obviously, there are exceptions to this like everything else, but almost everyone shares some strengths and weaknesses their mom and dad possess.

I came from a home where my mom and dad both worked all the time and we were just accustomed to eating out, having the house a little messy, and spending weekends gone at a soccer or basketball tournament somewhere between me and my two brothers. In contrast, Jesse was born 15 years later than his siblings and his family is very traditional in pretty much all aspects of life. How do two people with such different upbringings live under one roof together? TONS of grace. I always heard people say before I was married, “You’ll never understand how selfish you are until you’re married and live with someone else.” All I can say to that statement now is, TRUE. I am so selfish and never realized how prideful I am until I lived with Jesse, but sanctification is great (even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment).

I won’t be airing out my dirty laundry of struggles I have faced in marriage, but instead, I will be giving some advice and encouragement on something that has helped Jesse and I our first little bit of marriage. Although we have struggled with making this consistent in the past, we have been intentional on choosing a time to shut everything off, find a quiet place to meet and have time to read scripture and ask hard questions to one another. Although Jesse and I live with one another it can be hard to ask deep, thought-provoking questions without making a point to do so. It’s way easier to watch Netflix with Jesse than it is to sit him down and ask how God has been sanctifying him lately.

So, here are the questions Jesse & I ask each other once a week and I’m hopeful someone will be encouraged to do this too:

1.     Have you been getting in the Word?

2.     How is your prayer life?

3.     Are there any sins you’re struggling with?

4.     How are your thoughts?

5.     What has God taught you this week?

6.     What are specific ways I can pray for you?

7.     Who can we pray for this week?

8.     How can we share our faith this week?

9.     Did I do anything to frustrate you this week?

10.  How can I be a better wife/husband and serve you better?

11.  How is our sex life?

12.  How are our finances?

After we finish talking, we read a chapter of a book of the Bible we’re going through and discuss it. Then, we pray together and that’s it!

It’s a super simple thing we block out in our schedule, but it reaps so much fruit in our marriage. Communication is so important in all relationships, but especially with the person you’re married to. I have learned how to serve, love, and pray for my husband better because of asking these questions each week. You should give it a try too!

Happy Thursday! :)